tell me that i don't try.
i've done so much for you.
i feel stupid. really stupid.
you wasted all that time convincing me and for what?
an i'm sorry?
pure bullshit.
there was a reason why i built my barriers so high, it's so jerks like you couldn't hurt me like tyler did.
what's done is done.
like you said, you're great at being single.
raise some hell.
good luck with everything.
i'll just be here. just another contact on your phonebook.
that's all i'll ever be.
goodbye.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Define Our Relationship.
First of all, happy four months babe. :]
this will be a little messy. sincerest apologies. i wrote this in a hurry, i'm sorry it's not perfect.
This relationship is the toughest I've ever been in. I have never been so affected by a boyfriend. Every little thing you do has an effect on me, from your actions to your words... even to your lack of words and actions. You really got a hold on me, babe. We've been through A LOT these past four months... tears, heartache, jealousy, doubt, having a taste of what it feels like when the other lets go; laughs, smiles, love, genuine love, cooking for each other, fake mustaches, hugs, kisses, tongue licks, flicking (bahahahahaha!), and much much much much more! the good really outweighs the bad in this relationship. no matter how low we get, nothing and no one can tear us apart. what we have is something special, something real. something others would kill for and others naively throw away. i thought soul mates were a myth until i let myself genuinely fall for you. don't get me wrong, you had me at hello. but i fell for you that one day people call christmas when you kissed my cheek. i opened my heart to you at that starlight serenade musical. i willingly gave you my heart on may 20, my grad night.
this relationship is my second highest priority. this is something special to me, something i would never trade or jeopardize. i know it's hard for you because of all the other guys that try to take me away from you. i want you to put it in your head right now. THEY CAN NEVER TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU. because it's not them who crosses my mind the ENTIRE day. it's not them who i think about when i look up at the stars both outside and in my room. it's not them that i trust completely to share myself with. it's you, only you. please remember that.
my only problem with this relationship is that i get jealous easily. :/ i don't like to admit that, but it's true. i try to keep it low key. and sometimes i don't feel like a priority to you, but i know i shouldn't feel that way cuz it's simply untrue.
my definition or the way i see this relationship, it's one of a kind. it's rare. it taught us to love unconditionally, to be patient, to break down barriers, to smile genuinely, to know how it feels to have your heart ripped out, to know what it's like to hold someone and feel like that's where you belong, to wanting to be with your significant other every minute, and to make sacrifices for the one you care about. i can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me, no one has stuck around like you have. i love you so much babe. i can't wait to marry you. <3
four months down, a lifetime to go.
this will be a little messy. sincerest apologies. i wrote this in a hurry, i'm sorry it's not perfect.
This relationship is the toughest I've ever been in. I have never been so affected by a boyfriend. Every little thing you do has an effect on me, from your actions to your words... even to your lack of words and actions. You really got a hold on me, babe. We've been through A LOT these past four months... tears, heartache, jealousy, doubt, having a taste of what it feels like when the other lets go; laughs, smiles, love, genuine love, cooking for each other, fake mustaches, hugs, kisses, tongue licks, flicking (bahahahahaha!), and much much much much more! the good really outweighs the bad in this relationship. no matter how low we get, nothing and no one can tear us apart. what we have is something special, something real. something others would kill for and others naively throw away. i thought soul mates were a myth until i let myself genuinely fall for you. don't get me wrong, you had me at hello. but i fell for you that one day people call christmas when you kissed my cheek. i opened my heart to you at that starlight serenade musical. i willingly gave you my heart on may 20, my grad night.
this relationship is my second highest priority. this is something special to me, something i would never trade or jeopardize. i know it's hard for you because of all the other guys that try to take me away from you. i want you to put it in your head right now. THEY CAN NEVER TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU. because it's not them who crosses my mind the ENTIRE day. it's not them who i think about when i look up at the stars both outside and in my room. it's not them that i trust completely to share myself with. it's you, only you. please remember that.
my only problem with this relationship is that i get jealous easily. :/ i don't like to admit that, but it's true. i try to keep it low key. and sometimes i don't feel like a priority to you, but i know i shouldn't feel that way cuz it's simply untrue.
my definition or the way i see this relationship, it's one of a kind. it's rare. it taught us to love unconditionally, to be patient, to break down barriers, to smile genuinely, to know how it feels to have your heart ripped out, to know what it's like to hold someone and feel like that's where you belong, to wanting to be with your significant other every minute, and to make sacrifices for the one you care about. i can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me, no one has stuck around like you have. i love you so much babe. i can't wait to marry you. <3
four months down, a lifetime to go.
Friday, February 26, 2010
oh, you had it. but, oh no, you lost it.
today was a good day and it's still not over.
happy birthday to my wonderful mother whom i love so dearly. :]
the first text message i received today made me smile in a way that i haven't done in a while. sent to me by my bestfriend, joseph ryan d. villareal.:
i love my bestfriend because...
1. she always makes me smile when it seems impossible.
2. she makes me feel like i'm important in the world.
3. she cries when she misses me so much.
4. because i miss her beyond imaginable.
5. because she still loves me even though i'm just me.
hahahahahahahahahahaha!
what a charmer.
too bad his charm has no affect on me whatsoever. :P
so... i fucking LOVE my e block.
practicum:
amanda lines.
megan hickey.
lauren reynosa.
ana pacheco.
the new loves of my life. :D
they never cease to surprise me at "story time".
hahahaha! they are all simply amazing. i have no idea how i went through almost 4 years without spending some quality time with them.
things happen for a reason. and i'm glad this happened.
thank you, sister helen, for changing my schedule and putting me with a crazy bunch of dolls.
:D
happy birthday to my wonderful mother whom i love so dearly. :]
the first text message i received today made me smile in a way that i haven't done in a while. sent to me by my bestfriend, joseph ryan d. villareal.:
i love my bestfriend because...
1. she always makes me smile when it seems impossible.
2. she makes me feel like i'm important in the world.
3. she cries when she misses me so much.
4. because i miss her beyond imaginable.
5. because she still loves me even though i'm just me.
hahahahahahahahahahaha!
what a charmer.
too bad his charm has no affect on me whatsoever. :P
so... i fucking LOVE my e block.
practicum:
amanda lines.
megan hickey.
lauren reynosa.
ana pacheco.
the new loves of my life. :D
they never cease to surprise me at "story time".
hahahaha! they are all simply amazing. i have no idea how i went through almost 4 years without spending some quality time with them.
things happen for a reason. and i'm glad this happened.
thank you, sister helen, for changing my schedule and putting me with a crazy bunch of dolls.
:D
Saturday, February 13, 2010
the BEST WORST day ever!
Suckin on my titties like you wanted me,
Callin me, all the time like blondie,
Check out my chrissy behind
It's fine all of the time
What else is in the teaches of peaches?
Like sex on the beaches. huh? what?
huh? right. what? uhh.
huh? what? right. uhh.
huh? what? right. uhh.
huh? what? right. uhh.
^
^
^
hahahahahahaha!!!! theme song for our friday adventure!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! yesterday was fucking EPIC!
like... hands down. the best day of my life.
the group:
me
justine
michelle (parcero)
tina
kristelle
it all began at 8:45 am.
arrived at tina's house with kristelle and was greeted by tina, justine, and tina's two dogs, charlie and roxy.
made crepes/pancakes with peanut butter and wrapped them over a banana for breakfast.
kristelle, justine, tina, and i greeted parcero at the door with taylor lautner. :D
got our stuff, got in tina's car and now the fun begins!
SHOTGUN! got to play dj. :D
the car was fucking BLASTING music.
JUSTIN BIEBER! the bloody beetroots! danger! klever! tyler harrison! saosin! benny benassi! dj satomi! and much much more!
FIST PUMPING the shit out of the beat!
cut off some lady at ball rd exit. KARMA.
caprisun guy. hahahaha! he was cooler than peaches. but he was drinking the caca flavor... :/
got lost while trying to find parking at disneyland.
eventually found parking.
started blasting "fuck the pain away" while in the parking lot. bahahaha!
got on the tram.
some old creeper lady that worked at disneyland bitched at us for putting our feet up on the chairs. fuck her. HARD.
got dropped off by the tram at downtown disney.
got tina and kristelle's tickets.
DISNEYLAND!
mother fuck disneyland.
fucking rides kept breaking down... space mountain. indiana's choad. ugh. major pube pluckers... i swear.
our lunch:
justine & i got fish and chips.
kristelle & parcero got chicken tenders.
tina got... some REALLY fried corn dog with a bag of chips.
bahahahahaha!
rode haunted mansion.
bought waters, pineapples, grapes, and split a clam chowder bowl. (chowder bowls are the SHIT!)
saw victoria kay, ana pacheco, julia ismail, and christen hein. :]
fucking bullshitted the rest of the day.
watched that stupid disneyland dance parade thing. peter pan kept eyeing and waving at me and justine.
wendy is a whore. seducing peter, mickey mouse, the singer, and woody.
saw whore-iero and sophie. greeted whore-iero happy birthday. :]
tina bought a couple of things for her family.
then we said, "fuck you disneyland. we're going to cue!."
so off we were.
on the 15 freeway.
cruising.
changing lanes.
changing lanes again.
and again.
and again.
oh! and again.
MOTHER FUCK TRAFFIC IN THE ASS WITH A RUSTY SPOON.
"O0OOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"
CRASH!
tina rear ends a lexus which causes a chain reaction.
three cars.
a car filled with nonchalant teenagers.
a car driven by a semi upset asian lady.
a car operated by a handicap.
FUCK.
talk, talk, talk.
chat, chat, chat.
exchange, exchange, exchange.
triple a is here? fuck that was quick.
everyone is safe. no major damage.
tina's car. minor fender bender. not really even considered a fender bender.
asian lady's car. dented front license plate. small sticking out bumper. and a few scratches.
handicapped guy's car. just a scratch.
parcero and i got out of the car to take pictures of the damage.
then ended up having a photoshoot. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
then we all got into our cars and drove away from the accident scene.
NONCHALANT. can't think of a better word for how we were all reacting to getting into an accident.
"fuck it. let's go to cue!."
shake it off.
that's what we did.
ended up LAUGHING and almost pissing ourselves!
me with my chunky vomit jokes.
justine needed to vomit.
michelle having a massive headache.
kristelle having urinal urges and having an orgasm in the back of tina's car.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BEST CAR RIDE OF MY LIFE!
got on the 57 then the 60.
exit brea canyon rd.
mcdonalds drive through for 2 sweet tes. 1 mocha frap. 15 pc chicken nigglets.
all of us had to pee really bad!
found a jack in the box and all used the restroom.
we all barely made it. bahahaha!
back to the car.
back to heading to cue!.
back to blasting music.
btw. i LOVE playing dj. :D
the bloody beetroots! chris breezy! lil wayne! drake! justin bieber! data!
oh. hello, cue!
picture, picture, picture.
flash, flash, flash.
"it's fucking hot in here!"
pose, pose, pose.
dolla, dolla bills.
spent $28 at cue!.
LOL!
off to puente hills mall.
bathroom. AGAIN.
while waiting in line to buy our tickets. i told them all about how i like to rename the places where i go. vagina gardens. irvine rectum. breast mall. la puet mall. goldenpoon. the shits at chino hills. and others i'm too lazy to write.
10:15 pm.
saw valentine's day.
SUCK BALLS.
major balls.
the only good part was that bradley cooper ended up being gay!
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
off to tina's house.
arrival time.
1:18 am.
goodbye, kristelle & parcero.
"text me when you get home!"
black tea.
charlie and roxy.
goodbye, tina.
"we love you!"
hello, justine's sister and her sisters boyfriend.
"thanks guys!"
got home around 2 am.
changed. brushed teeth. lied down.
KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT.
the BEST WORST day ever.
:D
we were all fucking high off our asses.
but totally sober.
no pills, needles, smoke, or alcohol necessary.
what a great way to start off my 4 day weekend.
Callin me, all the time like blondie,
Check out my chrissy behind
It's fine all of the time
What else is in the teaches of peaches?
Like sex on the beaches. huh? what?
huh? right. what? uhh.
huh? what? right. uhh.
huh? what? right. uhh.
huh? what? right. uhh.
^
^
^
hahahahahahaha!!!! theme song for our friday adventure!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! yesterday was fucking EPIC!
like... hands down. the best day of my life.
the group:
me
justine
michelle (parcero)
tina
kristelle
it all began at 8:45 am.
arrived at tina's house with kristelle and was greeted by tina, justine, and tina's two dogs, charlie and roxy.
made crepes/pancakes with peanut butter and wrapped them over a banana for breakfast.
kristelle, justine, tina, and i greeted parcero at the door with taylor lautner. :D
got our stuff, got in tina's car and now the fun begins!
SHOTGUN! got to play dj. :D
the car was fucking BLASTING music.
JUSTIN BIEBER! the bloody beetroots! danger! klever! tyler harrison! saosin! benny benassi! dj satomi! and much much more!
FIST PUMPING the shit out of the beat!
cut off some lady at ball rd exit. KARMA.
caprisun guy. hahahaha! he was cooler than peaches. but he was drinking the caca flavor... :/
got lost while trying to find parking at disneyland.
eventually found parking.
started blasting "fuck the pain away" while in the parking lot. bahahaha!
got on the tram.
some old creeper lady that worked at disneyland bitched at us for putting our feet up on the chairs. fuck her. HARD.
got dropped off by the tram at downtown disney.
got tina and kristelle's tickets.
DISNEYLAND!
mother fuck disneyland.
fucking rides kept breaking down... space mountain. indiana's choad. ugh. major pube pluckers... i swear.
our lunch:
justine & i got fish and chips.
kristelle & parcero got chicken tenders.
tina got... some REALLY fried corn dog with a bag of chips.
bahahahahaha!
rode haunted mansion.
bought waters, pineapples, grapes, and split a clam chowder bowl. (chowder bowls are the SHIT!)
saw victoria kay, ana pacheco, julia ismail, and christen hein. :]
fucking bullshitted the rest of the day.
watched that stupid disneyland dance parade thing. peter pan kept eyeing and waving at me and justine.
wendy is a whore. seducing peter, mickey mouse, the singer, and woody.
saw whore-iero and sophie. greeted whore-iero happy birthday. :]
tina bought a couple of things for her family.
then we said, "fuck you disneyland. we're going to cue!."
so off we were.
on the 15 freeway.
cruising.
changing lanes.
changing lanes again.
and again.
and again.
oh! and again.
MOTHER FUCK TRAFFIC IN THE ASS WITH A RUSTY SPOON.
"O0OOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"
CRASH!
tina rear ends a lexus which causes a chain reaction.
three cars.
a car filled with nonchalant teenagers.
a car driven by a semi upset asian lady.
a car operated by a handicap.
FUCK.
talk, talk, talk.
chat, chat, chat.
exchange, exchange, exchange.
triple a is here? fuck that was quick.
everyone is safe. no major damage.
tina's car. minor fender bender. not really even considered a fender bender.
asian lady's car. dented front license plate. small sticking out bumper. and a few scratches.
handicapped guy's car. just a scratch.
parcero and i got out of the car to take pictures of the damage.
then ended up having a photoshoot. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
then we all got into our cars and drove away from the accident scene.
NONCHALANT. can't think of a better word for how we were all reacting to getting into an accident.
"fuck it. let's go to cue!."
shake it off.
that's what we did.
ended up LAUGHING and almost pissing ourselves!
me with my chunky vomit jokes.
justine needed to vomit.
michelle having a massive headache.
kristelle having urinal urges and having an orgasm in the back of tina's car.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BEST CAR RIDE OF MY LIFE!
got on the 57 then the 60.
exit brea canyon rd.
mcdonalds drive through for 2 sweet tes. 1 mocha frap. 15 pc chicken nigglets.
all of us had to pee really bad!
found a jack in the box and all used the restroom.
we all barely made it. bahahaha!
back to the car.
back to heading to cue!.
back to blasting music.
btw. i LOVE playing dj. :D
the bloody beetroots! chris breezy! lil wayne! drake! justin bieber! data!
oh. hello, cue!
picture, picture, picture.
flash, flash, flash.
"it's fucking hot in here!"
pose, pose, pose.
dolla, dolla bills.
spent $28 at cue!.
LOL!
off to puente hills mall.
bathroom. AGAIN.
while waiting in line to buy our tickets. i told them all about how i like to rename the places where i go. vagina gardens. irvine rectum. breast mall. la puet mall. goldenpoon. the shits at chino hills. and others i'm too lazy to write.
10:15 pm.
saw valentine's day.
SUCK BALLS.
major balls.
the only good part was that bradley cooper ended up being gay!
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
off to tina's house.
arrival time.
1:18 am.
goodbye, kristelle & parcero.
"text me when you get home!"
black tea.
charlie and roxy.
goodbye, tina.
"we love you!"
hello, justine's sister and her sisters boyfriend.
"thanks guys!"
got home around 2 am.
changed. brushed teeth. lied down.
KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT.
the BEST WORST day ever.
:D
we were all fucking high off our asses.
but totally sober.
no pills, needles, smoke, or alcohol necessary.
what a great way to start off my 4 day weekend.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Baby, I love you. I never want to let you go.
The more I think about the more i want to let you know-
That everything you do... is super fucking cute
And I can't stand it.
hahahahaha! oh christofer drew. you're so silly.
i miss you. :/
but anyways.
AHOY BUTTERNUTS!
it's been AGES since i've blogged. hot damn.
so... let's see what's been happening.
december:
DEBUT!
dylan. blehhh.
got to see my dad after 4 years.
got even closer with my best fwennd mr. joseph ryan d. villareal!
i lahbs him. :]
sleep overs with jojo. :D
matching onsies.
mcdonalds sweet tea!
journal sharing with jojo.
christmas with the fam bam at mi casa.
new years with the fam bam at reg's house.
read- animal farm
january:
rischae's birthday.
matthew corpuz.
jojo pretended to be gay because i've been dying for a homosexual best friend. bahahahaha!
started working at the preschool. I LOVE THOSE KIDS! :D
mr. beyer. :D
lots o' rain.
reminiscing on past relationships with jojo.
rally! two words. FIST PUMMMMMMMMMP!!!!!!
sick most of january...
LOST MY VOICE! :(
black lips.
jason mraz.
moving units.
read- a doll's house and dorian's gay.
RYAN TANRE. :]
february:
so far... this month has been fun!
sleep over with justine and jb. :D <- THE BEST!
finally decided that i'm going to mt. sac first then transfer to a university.
tomorrow... DISNEYLAND with my j-boob, parcero, titty titty tina, sarah whore-iero, cheng administration, sophie, jade, and others. :D
read/reading: one flew over the cuckoo's nest, the maze runner, and the last song.
what's coming up this year:
SADIES!
maureen's debut!
ross' school performance.
dj pizza lunch.
father daughter dance.
john mayer.
bamboozle left.
cabo san lucas. :D
owl city.
vampire weekend.
she & him.
COACHELLA weekend!!!!!
PROM!
a day to remember.
GRADUATION!!!!!!!!!!!
and plenty of other thannngs that i haven't planned yet.
this year is going to be a good one. i can feel it. good vibes. good company. what could be better than that?
2010. let's go!
That everything you do... is super fucking cute
And I can't stand it.
hahahahaha! oh christofer drew. you're so silly.
i miss you. :/
but anyways.
AHOY BUTTERNUTS!
it's been AGES since i've blogged. hot damn.
so... let's see what's been happening.
december:
DEBUT!
dylan. blehhh.
got to see my dad after 4 years.
got even closer with my best fwennd mr. joseph ryan d. villareal!
i lahbs him. :]
sleep overs with jojo. :D
matching onsies.
mcdonalds sweet tea!
journal sharing with jojo.
christmas with the fam bam at mi casa.
new years with the fam bam at reg's house.
read- animal farm
january:
rischae's birthday.
matthew corpuz.
jojo pretended to be gay because i've been dying for a homosexual best friend. bahahahaha!
started working at the preschool. I LOVE THOSE KIDS! :D
mr. beyer. :D
lots o' rain.
reminiscing on past relationships with jojo.
rally! two words. FIST PUMMMMMMMMMP!!!!!!
sick most of january...
LOST MY VOICE! :(
black lips.
jason mraz.
moving units.
read- a doll's house and dorian's gay.
RYAN TANRE. :]
february:
so far... this month has been fun!
sleep over with justine and jb. :D <- THE BEST!
finally decided that i'm going to mt. sac first then transfer to a university.
tomorrow... DISNEYLAND with my j-boob, parcero, titty titty tina, sarah whore-iero, cheng administration, sophie, jade, and others. :D
read/reading: one flew over the cuckoo's nest, the maze runner, and the last song.
what's coming up this year:
SADIES!
maureen's debut!
ross' school performance.
dj pizza lunch.
father daughter dance.
john mayer.
bamboozle left.
cabo san lucas. :D
owl city.
vampire weekend.
she & him.
COACHELLA weekend!!!!!
PROM!
a day to remember.
GRADUATION!!!!!!!!!!!
and plenty of other thannngs that i haven't planned yet.
this year is going to be a good one. i can feel it. good vibes. good company. what could be better than that?
2010. let's go!
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