Define Our Relationship.

First of all, happy four months babe. :]

this will be a little messy. sincerest apologies. i wrote this in a hurry, i'm sorry it's not perfect.

This relationship is the toughest I've ever been in. I have never been so affected by a boyfriend. Every little thing you do has an effect on me, from your actions to your words... even to your lack of words and actions. You really got a hold on me, babe. We've been through A LOT these past four months... tears, heartache, jealousy, doubt, having a taste of what it feels like when the other lets go; laughs, smiles, love, genuine love, cooking for each other, fake mustaches, hugs, kisses, tongue licks, flicking (bahahahahaha!), and much much much much more! the good really outweighs the bad in this relationship. no matter how low we get, nothing and no one can tear us apart. what we have is something special, something real. something others would kill for and others naively throw away. i thought soul mates were a myth until i let myself genuinely fall for you. don't get me wrong, you had me at hello. but i fell for you that one day people call christmas when you kissed my cheek. i opened my heart to you at that starlight serenade musical. i willingly gave you my heart on may 20, my grad night.

this relationship is my second highest priority. this is something special to me, something i would never trade or jeopardize. i know it's hard for you because of all the other guys that try to take me away from you. i want you to put it in your head right now. THEY CAN NEVER TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU. because it's not them who crosses my mind the ENTIRE day. it's not them who i think about when i look up at the stars both outside and in my room. it's not them that i trust completely to share myself with. it's you, only you. please remember that.

my only problem with this relationship is that i get jealous easily. :/ i don't like to admit that, but it's true. i try to keep it low key. and sometimes i don't feel like a priority to you, but i know i shouldn't feel that way cuz it's simply untrue.

my definition or the way i see this relationship, it's one of a kind. it's rare. it taught us to love unconditionally, to be patient, to break down barriers, to smile genuinely, to know how it feels to have your heart ripped out, to know what it's like to hold someone and feel like that's where you belong, to wanting to be with your significant other every minute, and to make sacrifices for the one you care about. i can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me, no one has stuck around like you have. i love you so much babe. i can't wait to marry you. <3

four months down, a lifetime to go.

oh, you had it. but, oh no, you lost it.

today was a good day and it's still not over.
happy birthday to my wonderful mother whom i love so dearly. :]

the first text message i received today made me smile in a way that i haven't done in a while. sent to me by my bestfriend, joseph ryan d. villareal.:

i love my bestfriend because...

1. she always makes me smile when it seems impossible.
2. she makes me feel like i'm important in the world.
3. she cries when she misses me so much.
4. because i miss her beyond imaginable.
5. because she still loves me even though i'm just me.

hahahahahahahahahahaha!
what a charmer.
too bad his charm has no affect on me whatsoever. :P

so... i fucking LOVE my e block.
practicum:
amanda lines.
megan hickey.
lauren reynosa.
ana pacheco.

the new loves of my life. :D

they never cease to surprise me at "story time".

hahahaha! they are all simply amazing. i have no idea how i went through almost 4 years without spending some quality time with them.

things happen for a reason. and i'm glad this happened.
thank you, sister helen, for changing my schedule and putting me with a crazy bunch of dolls.
:D