it's finally hitting me and i'm breaking down. i've held my feelings in for too long. now i'm crying it all out. i don't know why. i understand that i am better than all this, but the pain has set and the nostalgia is kicking in... my heart has literally broken in two. no words can mend, it's beyond repair. it just finally hit me that it was all a lie. i have no idea how to cope and move on. i'm confused to the point where every thought is like a million words filled with anger, hate, and revenge. i'm shaken and my confidence is broken. every word of reassurance is like another stab to the heart and my eyes are seeing all of my flaws.
yet i know that i'm strong. i know this is merely something to learn from. i know that this shouldn't get me down. i know what i'm worth and i know what i can handle. it all just took me by surprise in an unexpected way. yes, i'm shaken. yes, i'm hurt. yes, my heart is not in the best condition. but i know now that it's time i stop being so forgiving. no more second chances. no more false hope. time to toughen up and make room for someone new.
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