it JUST occurred to me.

that i have been slowly drifting away from my social scene.
it's like i'm slowly, but secretly committing social suicide.
i've become a recluse. detaching myself from a world i once called home.
the scary thing is... i kind of like it.
it's strange. i've been poorly keeping in touch with people i once held close.
i feel like i'm losing my best friend because we haven't been able to talk that much or because really... i don't have much to say.
i have yet to carry out my plans for my summer vacation and frankly... i don't give a fuck!
i have not spoken to most of my friends in AGES.
it's weird.
i'm enjoying the peace and quite that i was deprived of during the beginning of this year.
i've been spending most of my days with either family, derek and his friends, or ronnie.
my day consists of reading, movies, occasional concerts, random family outings, and sleep.
it doesn't seem like much fun, but to me... IT'S BEEN THE BEST!
it's a refreshing change from how things used to be.

but my relaxation period is gradually coming to an end.
i miss those who i've shut out quite terribly.
i am ready to rekindle friendships and re-enter my once familiar world.



hoping for the best,
i've got to get this off my chest.
i can't see us getting by until we've put this all to rest.
is it impossible for us to carry on
or do we have to just let go and then forget it all?
and maybe worst of all but never first of all,
i really doubt that any bit of it's
reversible.

it's selfish, i know, but
i've really got to hold on to
something that i just
couldn't possibly control.
i'll let you take your best shot,
but you'll probably drop it.
and all i'll say is
"i told you so."

catch me if you can.
i think i finally understand.
you don't care what they all think
as long as you know where we stand.
and you think...
"why be original?
it's much too difficult."
if even you don't care that you're not an individual.
i know it hurts and all,
but it's nothing personal.
it's like you stole it,
said you wrote it, then rehearsed it all.