you are my sunshine

my only sunshine.
you make me happy when skies are gray!
you'll never know dear, how much i love you.
please don't take my sunshine away.
:]

thank you derek for serenading me. i really needed it.
<3

but damn. now i can't stop singing the song!
LOL



i have come to realize that i am too nice.
i forgive too easily and i need to stop being so sympathetic.
my friend george told me... "...it just seems like you dated the wrong guy."
after reading that... i got to thinking...
i've been doing that A LOT lately.
i'm always attracted to the wrong guy.

i spent another sleepless night trying to figure out why i haven't had much luck in the relationship department.
and i think i've figured out what it is...
I'D RATHER BE HURT THAN HURT SOMEONE ELSE.
i let people abuse me.
i'm done with the hurtful words, the false hope, the empty promises, and the bullshit excuses.
it's time i be the selfish one for a change.

i may seem like a bitch for being so selfish, but time and past [&& also current] experiences have changed me.
i can trust no one but myself.
no more innocent, gullible rhio that i was once before.

i've grown a backbone and i'm learning to say "get the fuck out of my life."
i'm also learning that if i let someone out of my life... i need to KEEP them out of my life.
no more second chances.
i've had enough.

it's time i find the RIGHT guy.
and it's time i start getting real.


because this was the song playing at the coffee shop when we met. :]